im 23 also with lupus and i feel this SO hard. i usually bring it up casually on the second or third date? like not a big dramatic reveal just "hey so i have this autoimmune thing that means sometimes i cancel plans or need to leave early." framing it as a logistics thing rather than a pity thing helps also: anyone who ghosts you over a health condition was never going to be a good partner anyway. it hurts but its actually a filter working correctly
im 26 with MS and honestly i just put it in my dating profile at this point. "i have MS. if thats a dealbreaker for you no hard feelings." saves time. the people who still swipe right KNOW and theyre not scared off. its actually led to better first dates because theres no elephant in the room
I told my now-partner on our second date. I framed it as "I want to be upfront about something" and explained EDS in plain terms. His response was "ok, so what do you need from me?" and I knew right then. The right person won't be scared off. They'll want to learn.
Coming at this from the other side — my girlfriend told me about her fibro on our third date and I'm so glad she did. It helped me understand why she sometimes went quiet or seemed overwhelmed. I would have been confused and possibly hurt if I hadn't known. Telling someone isn't a burden — it's an invitation to be a better partner.
honestly ive just started owning the weird medical stuff. "yeah i have compression stockings and light sensitivity and i take 10 pills a day. my body is dramatic." humor helps. if they cant laugh with you about the weird body stuff they cant handle the real hard stuff
